Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
(Macbeth)

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Dear Phillip;

5 years of tick-tocks have gone by since I said goodbye to you.
That's 78,926,400 ticks, and 78,926,400 tocks.  A thought takes only a tick.  A feeling can well up in just the space of a tock.  That's a lot of thinking of you and missing you.

The old grandfather clock had stopped working, so yesterday I decided to try to fix it.  It took some time, but it's working again, keeping perfect time and chiming and gonging on schedule.  I thought of you a lot while I was working on it.   Trying to get a clock to work is quite an appropriate metaphor for me.  Each day I have to decide if I want to keep moving forward, or stay behind, looking for you.  Leaving the clock stopped wouldn't stop time, though.  And if I run it backwards I can never get you back.

I asked you if you would please visit my dreams last night.  For some reason I still can't dream of you.  Just a few days after you died I woke up in the morning with a physical smile on my face, and I realized that - although I had no memory of it - you must have visited me in my sleep.  There is no way I would have awoken with a smile on my face when I spent each day in tears.

This morning I didn't wake up with a physical smile on my face, but I did awaken in a surprisingly happy, peaceful mood, so I think you swept past me in the night and gave me a hug and a kiss.  Thank you for that.

I found this note I made to myself on January 20, 2015.  It says:

"For the first time in my life I have no idea where I am going, and yet I am not afraid."

I still haven't figured out what I am "supposed" to be doing with this third third of my life, but I have got the clock working, and I'll see where Time takes me.

Wherever it takes me, I will continue loving you, and missing you, every second of every day.
Mom

2 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this Valerie. I had just learned of Tyler's diagnosis when you lost Phillip. I thought when I meet you at the NAF conference that year how strong you were and that I didn't know if I could ever be that strong. Now, here I am. I find comfort in the shared memories and the warm circle of my FAmily that has walked down this road ahead me. It helps to know that I will be ok, although forever changed. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for sharing this Valerie. I had just learned of Tyler's diagnosis when you lost Phillip. I thought when I meet you at the NAF conference that year how strong you were and that I didn't know if I could ever be that strong. Now, here I am. I find comfort in the shared memories and the warm circle of my FAmily that has walked down this road ahead me. It helps to know that I will be ok, although forever changed. Love you!

    ReplyDelete