Your Birth Day

Dear, Dear Phillip;

27 years ago you came into my life ... and lit up the world. You were the most wonderful gift. You not only made me a mother - you made me a much better person.

I have spent all of today re-living that wonderful day when you came into this world - a month early and upside down. I remember the first time I held you in my arms; the first time I nursed you.

I wish I were at home today. I want to be able to pull out your baby book and photographs and re-live that day. I want to be able to go through the cedar chest and hold your Christening clothes and first shoes, and remember the time when all was hope and optimism for your future.

In many ways the beginning and end of your life were so similar; you needed me so profoundly. As an infant you were so hungry and needed to nurse every 90 minutes. The last few years you become so dependent on me for your very sustenance, and it felt like you were metaphorically back at the breast.

In both cases it was exhausting, but I know I gave you everything you needed at the beginning of your life, and all I can hope is that I also gave you what you needed at the end of your life.

I miss you more than I can describe. Happy Birthday my wonderful son.

Mom